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dundie
Well I fell victim to the impluse buy today. I went in for the office season 3 on DVD and walked out with the office season 3 – welcome aboard kit – gift set.
It was only 10 bucks more and now I have my own Dwight bobble head and my very own DUNDIE!!!! (comment contest, what is the fictional reason that I got a dundie?)
So why the heck not?
Well here are some pics of the opening. (as always click for larger)
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update 1:46aThe dvds are missing my favorite part…the theme song…so sad…the episodes start with the teasers and then blank cut then right into the episode… I’m an idiot, I was in the deleted scenes of the DVD, the theme song is still on each episode. Stupid me.
Here you go just in case you have an itchin to hear it.
1 —> 2
PREFACE: I started writing this almost 2 months ago as I pondered what it meant to be in a relationship and how that was connected to singleness and faith and my own understanding of myself. I have thought about whether or not to even post this, but in the name of candidness and the value of sharing my thoughts, I have decided to include it.
Please note that these were unfinished thoughts that I am now finishing with a completely different perspective. In the main post where it changes from regular text to italicized text is where I have picked up my thoughts. I’m not even sure if any of this will even make sense or be worth reading, as being post-relationship I am in a new mode of trying to understand myself and my understanding of relationships in general.
PS this post probably should be re-titled 1–>2–>1
———
Prologue –
In the past I have written some about the single life and how that fits into a christian perspective.
So I figured it would only be proper for me to delve into the world of relationships, since now, I am in one.
But more specifically the transition from being single into being in a relationship.
———-
Let’s just say I wasn’t prepared for this. Like many of my past relationships, I finally ended up in a relationship at that period where I wasn’t looking for one. It always seems to happen that way (at least for me), where you go through long stretches of looking and wanting, and not finding anyone, then all of a sudden you get caught off guard and something wonderful happens.
God is good that way.
Back to being unprepared. Leading up to the start, I had become fairly accustomed to living the single life. Even though I wined and moaned about how much I longed for a relationship, I had it pretty good. My time was my own, I was only concerned about my own needs and desires and could go and do anything I wished. Not to say that I am complaining about the current situation, but I am merely stating things that I have come to realize.
In many ways I was not ready to restructure a majority of my life around a relationship. Since I did not have the experience of past relationships, I really lacked the insight to know exactly what I was getting myself into. I understood that there would be things that I must give up and that it would require me to be self sacrificing, but I did not anticipate how much of an effort all of this would take.
Also I was not prepared to be vulnerable. I had thought of myself as a fairly vulnerable person, capable of sharing myself and my thoughts. Within a relationship, it becomes far more imperative that my level of vulnerability, no matter how great I think it was, needs to be complete and unabashed.
In the past few months I had to come face to face with who I really am, not only as a person who’s actions and desires now affect another person, but I have had to come face to face with myself as an individual. Getting to know yourself completely has only become more complex, since I am now faced with the situation where I need to fully know who I am so that I may be able to fully express what I am thinking and feeling. In the midst of having to fully disclose myself to another person in a new and intriguing way.
NOTE (I will continue to write in the first person present tense as to maintain a bit of style and continuity, even though now I mainly will be referring to things in the past.)
If anything being in a relationship has forced me more to come to grips with who I really am. Who I was. And who I want to be. I think these things are good things. Maybe not things that I was actively looking forward to working on, but things that I guess one day or another would have to be addressed if I wanted to be a suitable mate for someone someday. Things that I will have to continue to work on for the rest of my life.
I guess if anything now, I get to figure out where all this relationship stuff has left me. In a lot of ways, during the relationship I started thinking forward for how my decisions were not completely my own anymore, but now it seems that even my future decisions are still being shaped by the past few months, even though there is one critical piece missing. I guess what I am trying to articulate is that I am not ready to move forward completely unattached from what has transpired over the last few months.
The problem with how I approach relationships (and maybe it’s my fault and maybe it’s not) is that I play for keeps. Maybe I need to be more cautious about how I approach even the possibility of a relationship, or maybe it’s just that with this one I was so comfortable, and didn’t have a wall of caution of getting too close that I needed to break down. All of this is just me writing as I try to understand this side of me. If it’s any insight or insightful then good for you reading this.
Hopefully I can look back on this and gain something. It’s probably still too soon. And maybe the lessons learned will not manifest themselves until quite some time.
———
Ok I think that’s it. I’ve started and stopped this post 5+ times. I have come to the conclusion that I am still not in a place to fully form my thoughts. I will post this as it is. For whatever it is worth. It is not a reflection on Kelsey or meant in any way to put her in a negative context. I still hold her in the highest regards and consider her one amazing friend. If anything this post is meant to hopefully shed some light into my understanding of relationships or lack thereof.
If I come up with anything else I will post it for you.
I’m sure this is not the last post I will have in regards to relationships, either mine or general comments.
Take it for what it’s worth, and at this point I’m still trying to decide what that is.
1 —> 2
PREFACE: I started writing this almost 2 months ago as I pondered what it meant to be in a relationship and how that was connected to singleness and faith and my own understanding of myself. I have thought about whether or not to even post this, but in the name of candidness and the value of sharing my thoughts, I have decided to include it.
Please note that these were unfinished thoughts that I am now finishing with a completely different perspective. In the main post where it changes from regular text to italicized text is where I have picked up my thoughts. I’m not even sure if any of this will even make sense or be worth reading, as being post-relationship I am in a new mode of trying to understand myself and my understanding of relationships in general.
PS this post probably should be re-titled 1–>2–>1
———
Prologue –
In the past I have written some about the single life and how that fits into a christian perspective.
So I figured it would only be proper for me to delve into the world of relationships, since now, I am in one.
But more specifically the transition from being single into being in a relationship.
———-
Let’s just say I wasn’t prepared for this. Like many of my past relationships, I finally ended up in a relationship at that period where I wasn’t looking for one. It always seems to happen that way (at least for me), where you go through long stretches of looking and wanting, and not finding anyone, then all of a sudden you get caught off guard and something wonderful happens.
God is good that way.
Back to being unprepared. Leading up to the start, I had become fairly accustomed to living the single life. Even though I wined and moaned about how much I longed for a relationship, I had it pretty good. My time was my own, I was only concerned about my own needs and desires and could go and do anything I wished. Not to say that I am complaining about the current situation, but I am merely stating things that I have come to realize.
In many ways I was not ready to restructure a majority of my life around a relationship. Since I did not have the experience of past relationships, I really lacked the insight to know exactly what I was getting myself into. I understood that there would be things that I must give up and that it would require me to be self sacrificing, but I did not anticipate how much of an effort all of this would take.
Also I was not prepared to be vulnerable. I had thought of myself as a fairly vulnerable person, capable of sharing myself and my thoughts. Within a relationship, it becomes far more imperative that my level of vulnerability, no matter how great I think it was, needs to be complete and unabashed.
In the past few months I had to come face to face with who I really am, not only as a person who’s actions and desires now affect another person, but I have had to come face to face with myself as an individual. Getting to know yourself completely has only become more complex, since I am now faced with the situation where I need to fully know who I am so that I may be able to fully express what I am thinking and feeling. In the midst of having to fully disclose myself to another person in a new and intriguing way.
NOTE (I will continue to write in the first person present tense as to maintain a bit of style and continuity, even though now I mainly will be referring to things in the past.)
If anything being in a relationship has forced me more to come to grips with who I really am. Who I was. And who I want to be. I think these things are good things. Maybe not things that I was actively looking forward to working on, but things that I guess one day or another would have to be addressed if I wanted to be a suitable mate for someone someday. Things that I will have to continue to work on for the rest of my life.
I guess if anything now, I get to figure out where all this relationship stuff has left me. In a lot of ways, during the relationship I started thinking forward for how my decisions were not completely my own anymore, but now it seems that even my future decisions are still being shaped by the past few months, even though there is one critical piece missing. I guess what I am trying to articulate is that I am not ready to move forward completely unattached from what has transpired over the last few months.
The problem with how I approach relationships (and maybe it’s my fault and maybe it’s not) is that I play for keeps. Maybe I need to be more cautious about how I approach even the possibility of a relationship, or maybe it’s just that with this one I was so comfortable, and didn’t have a wall of caution of getting too close that I needed to break down. All of this is just me writing as I try to understand this side of me. If it’s any insight or insightful then good for you reading this.
Hopefully I can look back on this and gain something. It’s probably still too soon. And maybe the lessons learned will not manifest themselves until quite some time.
———
Ok I think that’s it. I’ve started and stopped this post 5+ times. I have come to the conclusion that I am still not in a place to fully form my thoughts. I will post this as it is. For whatever it is worth. It is not a reflection on Kelsey or meant in any way to put her in a negative context. I still hold her in the highest regards and consider her one amazing friend. If anything this post is meant to hopefully shed some light into my understanding of relationships or lack thereof.
If I come up with anything else I will post it for you.
I’m sure this is not the last post I will have in regards to relationships, either mine or general comments.
Take it for what it’s worth, and at this point I’m still trying to decide what that is.