I’m just going to start writing. I’m not exactly sure where that’s going to get us. But it just feels right at this time.
Well here’s some stuff about my life recently.
I wish I had the effort to put down some substantial thoughts about life and theology. I miss being able to find the time to really grapple with some heavy thoughts and questions that have been rattling around in my head. Please don’t think that I’m not thinking thoughts, I’m just not finding the time/effort to put them down for me and you. Sooner or later I will get them in some order and start up again. So hang with me for now.
On a related note. I really miss full time ministry, explicitly because it afforded me the structured time to do thinking and writing. I also really miss the contact with students and sharing their lives. I’ve become increasingly jealous of those around me who are in full time ministry. I don’t know if I’m exactly in a place where this even would be a good idea for me, but there are the days where I really miss it, where I really long for the one job that really brought me joy.
On the work front, things are going well. That is to say that I don’t “love” my job, but I do not hate it. Training is going well, tomorrow I start week 4 and start in on the management portion of the training. Which I am really looking forward to. Especially since the last 3 weeks have been focused on the lower levels, the learning how to “do” the things that need to be done to run the store, making sandwiches, prep-ing food, cashiering and such. It will be nice to have some sort of a break from the “grunt” work and move away from the somewhat intense world of hands on work. There’s been some “drama” at work too (which I won’t go into) but it’s kind of like high school ministry all over again. Aside from the drama-rama, it’s been good, a bit taxing, hard work, a bit of a daunting pace, but I’m sure there are far worse things that I could be doing with my time. So in the end I have to tell myself to be extremely thankful and recognize that God is blessing me and providing for me.
On the emotional side, and I need to choose my words carefully, things have been better. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster. Some days I’m doing pretty well. Some days I have a hard time making it through the day. It’s been 2 weeks and it’s still just the beginning. The road is long and unknown, and I am trying to prepare myself for the rest of the journey ahead. The biggest thing for me now, is that I miss my friend. If you don’t know, Kelsey and I were friends for 6+ years before we started dating, which for me, makes this whole thing really hard. Not only am I losing a girlfriend, but for now, I am minus one really amazing friend. And I mourn that loss. And hope I get that friend back, whenever that may be.
Hurt has occurred and healing is in process. Prayers for us both are appreciated.
That’s what I have to say for now.